Stepping into the Canvas


It was brought to my attention today, that I have yet to ‘write my book.’ Knowing that the book is already there, something keeps me from writing the book setting a stage for my own steps into the Canvas of Life.

Well versed in my own words, I still remain frozen in fear of what might be. Turns out that I am just like many humans who have a dream, but fail to move forward in their dreams. I often write about stepping into the canvas, but fail to hear the wisdom that spews from my own lips. Does this happen to you? Do you often give advice to others only to hear your own words regurgitated back to you?

It is a common trait of being human I guess. One of looking to others for self acceptance, by telling them what ‘they’ should do. I have learned that it is not my place to tell them what to do, but give them choices so they may make up their own damn minds. Giving choices to another, is as if I am accepting myself for who I have come to be. Knowing this, I must move forward…but something remains clear…I am holding ‘me’ back.

Today, while meeting a friend at her studio Healing Hearts Center, in Lake Geneva, Stacy Whetlow allowed me to enter a sacred space of spirit. I should have known something bigger was about to happen, when an Eagle swooped down in front of my vehicle, as if trying to get my attention. My first thought was that Spirit was flying with me…but later realized that Spirit was about to speak through and towards me.

I arrived at Stacy’s studio with the intention of painting my first ‘real’ canvas, but knew deep down how spirit operates…hiding a deeper meaning within our encounters.

As I began painting, with coaching of Stacy, I witnessed layer upon layer unfold, as I peeled back the onion of my soul. Layer upon layer, it was presented upon the Canvas of my own Life.

Again, I reflect on past writings as I skirted my own journey. Not in a sense of my own dealings of, but the details and intricacies of the lessons. I left so much meaning out of the lessons in fear that it may be to controversial or it may offend some other person. The truth of the matter is this…just as the reality of my painting unfolding, my own reality does exist. As my reality is my own, so is your own personal story. When God speaks to me, I am afraid to tell people…for those who say God does not speak or even the blasphemy of such an idea. My skirting the details was apparent and it is time to move forward.

I will not wonder how my time will permit my writing or editing of the book, but instead I will ask that time present itself to embrace the potentiality of my visions. The wording is critical, as my own fears can attract more reasons as to not write the book. Being a father and a husband, with my responsibilities, I will need to juggle yet again. I know that it will work in my favor and pen to paper shall begin.

So what am I to write? This is a common question for many who embark on their own journey of telling their story. My intentions, however, are not to hear my own story or toot my own horn…instead they are meant to assist others in getting through their own dilemmas of life.

Our stories are so intimate to the self, but putting them in writing we run the risk of being vulnerable. Through my nine years of searching I have come to many conclusions…one of them being…in our own vulnerabilities, we find our own strengths. Even in our own appearance of being vulnerable, we stand firmly in our own strength. Five years ago, my father expressed his concern, “I am afraid you have lost your edge and you are losing sight of your own reality.” My response then and still today, “What may appear to be losing my edge, I am merely sharpening my skills and both sides to my sword. That sword being the sword of truth.”

When I first sat down to paint today, I had no idea what I was going to paint. As the strokes and colors began taking shape, we witnessed the layers of my life unfolding onto the canvas. I am at the focal point of my own Canvas, surrounding myself with many teachers, comprising of family and friends. No longer listening to the negativity of others or the nay-Sayers of life, the voice of All Creation began to speak through me. Surrounding myself with positive people, taking baby-steps forward, my life began taking leaps and bounds through various shifts within my own life. This is the same process that all people, past and present, have gone through…I am no different then they.

It is through our own trusting, that all will be good, our lives take a turn for the greater good. On a personal level everything seems to be great, but on a global level…things just seem to be brighter all around. As within, so without. Our own personal transformations do in fact change the way we see the world. While the suffering still exists in the world, we are more accepting of the suffering. As without, so within. On a personal level…we embrace our own shadows of the nights, only to emerge in the brightest of days.

Today’s painting was monumental to say the least, for it was written back in my thought process when I was twelve years old. Never really understood the meaning behind my dreams, but knew that one day I would write and paint a brighter day…and there forward. Do you have a dream? Did you ever have a dream when you were younger, but do not have any idea how to get there? Start asking how this shall come to fruition and it shall be so. In asking we align ourselves with a higher power, that is available to all, presenting more opportunities to make our dreams come true.

Today, and this day forward, we have the ability to live it as we have chosen it to be. Listen to our old ways of ‘that can’t be done’ and we shall hit that mark every time. Change our directions to that of ‘I will’ and ‘I can’ it shall be so.

Sitting in my sacred space of writing, I reflect on my sacred space of life. returning to this sacred space of life, I enter a world of sacredness. It is in this sacred space that all presents itself for our greater good, on a singular level and a global level. For what we do for the self, we do for all humanity. When we find ourselves, we find the answers to all there is.

A teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind.~Khalil Gibran

Stepping into the Canvas right on time. For it is in this very moment in time that our lives take the turn for our greater good, if we see it as so. If we question it, we shall remain in an abyss of what if or what will be. Stay the course, trusting the process of life…as we begin stepping towards brighter days…in doing so…All is Good.


Digging Up Some Dirt

In a world of negativity, it is only natural to create a protective barrier towards an experienced negative emotion. When we were children experiencing name calling or physical abuse, we immediately create a defensive behavior protecting us from future encounters. Growing up we create protective barriers  and these barriers keep us from being who we truly meant to be. Our defense mechanisms actually block us from reaching our inner most feelings…that of pure Love.
Have you ever an experience make you so mad you felt helpless? Where do you suppose that conditioned response came from? It is often said we are conditioned through our personal direct and indirect experiences, leaving us no choice but react in fear. The following story is about a man who finds a treasure map. The only thing he need doing,  is dig it up…for the treasure was guaranteed…
A man comes home to his beautiful bride uncontrollably excited he tells her he found a treasure map guaranteeing riches beyond comprehension. The exciting part was he deduced that the treasure was buried right in their very back yard! Already getting the shovels ready out back, he invited his wife to join him in the dig.
They begin digging and imagining what the riches might be. The wife imagines paying off their house, getting new cars, sending their kids to the finest colleges and taking 3-4 exotic trips per year. The husbands ideas were a bit different, as he expressed the need for a boat, new cars, motorcycles, 4-wheelers, snowmobiles, cabin on thousands of acres, new house, and quitting his job.
After about 4 hours, they both are experiencing fatigue while second-guessing there is even a treasure at all. Losing hope fast, they continue the dig. The wife quits from exhaustion but the husband keeps digging.
After 8 hours in total, the husband is angry and wonders why he is even digging in the first place. His wife, handing him a refreshing glass of lemonade, offers him some encouragement, “Dear. How will we ever know if there is a treasure, if we give up digging?”
The husband replies, “But dear. We have dug for over 8 hours and we haven’t found anything yet and the ground is getting more difficult to penetrate. It would be easy if it were topsoil, but the clay and rocks makes it nearly impossible to cut through.”
The wife reminds her husband that “if it were all topsoil the treasure would have been found by now. Being clay many people are certain to have given up, just as you want to. Now is the time to press on and go for the treasure that you were so sure of in the first place.”
“Yes, I can do this.”

He looks to his wife, “I need your help dear. I cannot do this alone. Together we can cut through the toughest of earth thrown at us.”
After digging for another 45 minutes they come to stop…they found something. It was a treasure alright, filled with everything imaginable. Gems, gold, bonds, deeds to land, and a mirror that read…”while these treasures are here for your taking, the true gift lay within. You persevered where others gave up, you came together when others split up, you sacrificed much time to obtain your goals. You are the gift beyond all measures…the rest is just details.”
Just as in life, there are promises of  a treasure beyond measure but when we discover it may require a bit of digging up past negative experiences we forget about the promised treasure. Truth is, only 1-5% of all people are willing to cut through the dirty part of our lives for true healing. Our true healing can come from undeniable faith of being saved, but more often than not our human flesh gets in the way of our beliefs. Because of our stubbornness, we often have to learn things the difficult way. In the case of the husband and wife team, they their faith and actions to find paradise. It took faith of the husband and wife, but it also took the support of the wife for this dream to come true. In going beyond the dirty past, we find a beautiful paradise.
There was a clay Buddha statue owned by a battered monastery. One day a monk noticed something shiny coming through the dirty clay statue of the Buddha. When he began chiseling away he discovered a golden Buddha thought to have been lost for thousands of years. The monks of the old days covered the golden Buddha in clay so that the armies, that destroyed their village years ago, would never find the Buddha. The treasure would not have been found without persistence of this monk.

“David was already in there. I just chipped away the excess.”


As in life we are to chip away the excess. If all we know is what we know on the surface, how would we ever know what lay underneath?

While the Pilgrim would have given up digging in the dirt, with no promise of ever finding a treasure and leaving him unknowing to what lay underneath. The Warrior continues digging, giving thanks for each new layer unearthed. With every layer, She knows that her treasure lay beneath the next layer…going yet another layer.

Stepping into the Canvas with shovel in hand. Daring to dig up the past, only to heal once more. Those willing to chip away the excess will surely find their David laying underneath. In unearthing the past we instinctively lay a new canvas to be shared by all.