Deeper into the Canvas

Was recently at a ceremony where they invited me to go deeper within. Not knowing what I would find, but certain something still remained in my subconscious…triggers still for me to confront…or shall I say accept.

Acceptance brings a sense of forgiveness or allowing of sorts for thoughts to come and go, while confrontation brings more anger…increasing triggers within us…remaining stuck in the confines of our own psyche.

Thinking I was “good” and there wasn’t anything left for me to uncover…pop…something surfaces, bringing laughter to my being. I laugh now, for I know that all the triggers buried within were created by the self. For me to let them go, I needed to allow them to surface…letting them pass.

In letting them pass, I am healing the wounds left behind. Healed, I am able to accept a new possibility of thought…that of peace within, Joy without and Love all around me. Bliss is a reality and longevity of such depends on my willingness to let go of all that brings me down.

I let go.

Knowing that I am not perfect, those around me are not, I am free to be me and they are free to be he or she. In knowing of this, I am free to accept all for who they are…interacting as needed, allowing whenever possible.

We are reading this today for a reason. There is something missing maybe or there is something we seek…what is it? We have come to a place of accepting the self, whilst still reflecting back on the have-beens in our lives…shaking our heads, wondering “How did I get here?”

In awe at self and the journey to present day, we are left wondering “what next?” The bigger question that I hear is “If you could go back to the way you were, would you return?” I am pretty sure we all can answer this question with ease, but pain still remains…

Time for a big dose of laughter. Time to laugh at oneself. The moment we realize we have been living a dream and we have the ability to change this perception of such…we laugh in hysteria…wondering “why haven’t I acted upon my thoughts before?”

Simple…it wasn’t time.

It is now. If you are reading this…it is time. Time to reclaim your life, thoughts and ambition to meaning. We are here to experience, create and prosper…so why wait? Fear no longer has power over you…you are freed. Go now…

Stepping into the Canvas laughing at oneself. With laughter as our greatest of joys and acceptance for self, we know we are not perfect nor any others…but we remain accepting of all. Diving deeper within we surface to a brighter without. That which we uncover within the self, we re-discover in those around us. Wishing you a Syncrosensational day…Ani Po

laughing at oneself


Giving it all Away

standing alone

Years ago I was given a choice. Provide or give my everything to those closest to me. It was at a time when all I did was work. Managing work, properties and giving any remaining time to family. My family suffered as I was never really happy, working all the time.

So, one day, while escorting a friend on a personal retreat, I thought maybe it was time to reevaluate my time spent on this plain. Keep giving my time away to those around me and take for granted those closest to me, thinking they will understand. I was wrong.

During my friends retreat I was able to go inward, asking what to do. With a thunderous voice…”give it all up, focus on the home. If your home is not clear your life will continue to be a constant behind the eight ball kind of life.” Humbled by these words I fell to my knees.

It was at that moment, some twelve years ago, that I chose to give it all up. While money, power and providing for my family was important…I understood we needed very little and my time was more important. So I changed.

Not over night, but over time I sold the properties and stepped down from my managerial role, committing all my time to the kids and my beloved Cristal. The most important ones in our lives are not to be taken for granted but constantly in the center of attention in our lives.

There was a price for this. Less flow of money and less time with friends around me. Gradually friends begged me for my time and began disappearing into the sunset of time. So much guilt experienced as they requested more of my time. Then I remembered that voice telling me who needs my time for the next ten to eighteen years.

There will be kids activities, car-pooling, events that may not be my cup of tea…but to those I love, it means the world. I needed to live through their eyes and enjoyment, allowing them to shine. The caution here is giving to much of myself away, sacrificing my own personal happiness. With time I found balance.

No longer going out for beers or tearing up the town, I found solitude in quiet time. Recharging my batteries if you will, allowing more energy to those closest to me. Sadly, friends still yearn for my time. I can only hope for their understanding and my commitment fully to family and with any luck they will do the same…worrying less about ‘going out.”

While going out is very healthy for us, it is the conversation that follows which can make or break our downtime. If we go out to just cut loose, are we really getting to the core of our tension? If we go out to have a deeper conversation, discussing possible changes in our own selves…then to me is meaningful downtime. My humble opinion of course…and that is what worked for me. May be different for others.

So I reevaluate once again at the choices I have made, coming to a similar conclusion some twelve years ago…I made the right choice and I am right where I need to be.

Stepping into the Canvas with greater purpose…for I am giving it all away. Freely giving of self, allowing others to find their course, sharing in Love and happiness. For my reality is personal and others are their own, painting my own they are painting theirs. Wishing you a Syncrosensational day…Ani Po