We all have moments where we escape to somewhere else, in hopes of finding tranquility, but lose the battle in finding peace. Some however have found peace even during difficult times. How does one deal with their own stress? How does one deflect the misery of another?
When we have a ‘bad day’ three options present: 1) stay miserable, continuing to attract more anger; 2) ignore the stressors in hopes that it will pass, potentially attracting more anger; 3) walk away, centering the self in breathing. Sounds pretty easy, but for many it is not while conditioned to remain in misery…this is their reality.
Do we have to stay in our own reality of self-inflicted misery? What about others who create misery for us? Whether it is self-inflicted or brought on by another’s actions, we can change our response. For the self-inflicted pain we have option two or three, with the preferred method being number three. Stress implemented by actions of another can be more difficult to handle, as we are often in disbelief of their thoughtless actions…Really?!
Yesterday, an angry person who creates friction when he speaks quickly changed the tone of our day. With a pre-conceived notion of ignoring the person today, he came to me and apologized. In this case I chose option two and ignored him, in hopes that it will pass…whew! Next time I will be better at dealing with another person’s anger. Lesson learned! What if he had not apologized? By my ignoring him further, this would only create more tension between us. By not apologizing to me, two options then present: let it go or tell him how I felt. Thankfully he apologized and we didn’t have to cross that road.
The gentleman was ‘tired’ of going through Radiation Treatments. As many patients experience fear of their last treatments and the unknown, they express fear in their own way. His was through anger.
Remaining calm and instilling peace as a common ground, I established a new reality for him. His guilt came back to haunt him. Causing guilt, he apologized for his behavior. Again I say…whew!
How do you handle difficult people? Is it proper to return the anger? Returning anger only creates more anger. We are not defined by our actions, but define by how we deal with others during their difficult times and our own difficulties.
While the Pilgrim takes thing personally reacting from anger, only finding more anger. The Warrior allows others to express their emotions without absorption of anger, remaining in harmony with himself and the collective whole.
Stepping into the canvas identifying many colors of the rainbow, we have the ability to avoid misery brought out by a storm. Remaining calm we find ourselves instinctively wanting to dance in the rain.