Captain’s Log: Keeping Gaze on Horizon’s Page

Captain’s Log

Keeping gaze on horizon’s page

Last boat ride of potential last dive — photo by author

It has been at least thirteen weeks since my last entry.

It matters not.

Difficulty with left-hand typing — strengthening songs, lighting fingertips trusted sparking true.

It matters not.

Was it the TPA? or the chamber? Offering relief to left-sided paralysis.

It matters not.

Thought or no thought, where does the mind wander these days? Much easier to ‘turn off’ the mind, drawing a blank on the blank canvas of a page.

It matters not.

Petechiae rash flares up weeks after decompressing in a chamber’s dive hour six. Circulatory systems fail — before, after, and present after writing off future bottom time.

It matters not.

Primary care. Neurologist. Rheumatologist. Vampire bite — more testing — maybe even an Immunologist nosey wonderings — I’m losing track of this journey of not knowing. BP is skyrocketing — no amount of meditation is bringing it down.

WTF?! still…

It matters not.

I could spin a thousand times — creating stories and theories of just and unjust. Quiet the mind — focusing on the meaning of said circulatory system. Blockage. Failure. Heart pumping a thousand times greater.

It matters not.

Trusted is the one — fallen to the bottom of the murky seas — knowing that all will clear eventually. Slowing the breath — voiding thoughts — knowing the answers are coming — or they are not.

~ Ani Po

Thank you

 for holding this sacred space at Know Thyself, Heal Thyself.

Much gratitude for those who take time to read, ponder, and allow the inner workings of self to come forward. Grateful for the feedback, love shared, and, more importantly, the Dance with Inspiration. Deep Peace.

Joseph Lieungh

Photo by Javardh on Unsplash