Surfacing Inner Calm During the Outer Storm
Keeping Peace when the ‘fit hits the shan’
We all have moments of escaping to somewhere else in hopes of finding tranquility but lose the battle towards finding peace. Some, however, have found peace even during difficult times. How does one deal with their stress? How does one deflect projection of another? How does one return with said peace, maintain it and offer this wisdom to others?
Projection referring to self-inflicted pain or misery, lashing out through the hands of Ego, protecting self from suffering and feeling superior around others — as if that dissolves suffering. Projection we will find only creates more suffering.
When we have a ‘bad day,’ three options present:
1) stay miserable, continuing attracting more anger;
2) ignore the stressors in hopes that it will pass, potentially attracting more anger;
3) walk away, centering the self in breathing.
It sounds pretty easy, but it is not while conditioned to remain in misery — for many, this is their reality.
Do we have to stay in our reality of self-inflicted misery? What about others who create misery for us? Whether it is self-inflicted or brought on by another’s actions, we can change our response. For the self-inflicted pain, we have options two or three, with the preferred method being number three. Stress implemented by actions can be more difficult to handle, as we are often in disbelief of their thoughtless actions — leaving us with thoughts, “really?!”
Yesterday, an angry person creating friction while speaking to others quickly changed the tone of our day. With a preconceived notion of ignoring the person today, refraining from agitating him further repeating yesterdays events, while remaining hopeful of him picking up on his own behavior being inappropriate. Surprisingly, he came to me and apologized. In this case, I chose option two and ignored him, hoping that it would pass — phew!
Next time I will be better at dealing with another person’s anger. Lesson learned! What if he had not apologized? By my ignoring him further, this would only create more tension between us. Two options then present by not apologizing to me: let it go or tell him how I felt. Thankfully he apologized, and we didn’t have to cross that road.
The gentleman was “tired” of going through Radiation Treatments. As many patients experience fear of their last treatments and the unknown, they express fear in their way. His was through anger.
Remaining calm and instilling peace as a common ground, I established a new reality for him. His guilt came back to haunt him. Causing guilt, he apologized for his behavior. This time I say…whew!
How do you handle difficult people? Is it proper to return the anger? Returning anger only creates more anger. We are not defined by our actions but by dealing with others during their difficult times and our personal difficulties. Can we remain in peace, holding space for others to find this peace? Smiling, as i reflect on personal reflections of this very question — the key is finding peace, then holding onto it whilst letting go of all the pain and suffering of the past.
While the Pilgrim takes things personally, reacting from anger, only finding more anger. The Warrior allows others to express their emotions without absorption of anger, remaining in harmony with self and the collective whole.
Stepping into the Canvas identifying many rainbow colors, avoiding misery brought out by storms. Remaining calm — finding ourselves instinctively wanting to dance in the rain.
How does one come to this place of knowing? How does one find peace?
Personally, it could be arguably fifteen years ago when I stepped into the woods with nothing but a notebook, pen, and water bottle. Arguably, with passive voice, because some claim it was always within, I needed only awaken this knowing. Another way of looking at it, thanks to a good friend and teacher, I arrived “right on time.”
What happened when I stepped into the woods? I invited Great Mystery to enter my life. “Ok, I give up! I’m calling your bluff. From this day forward, I will be more alert, aware of myself and those around me, forever seeking a deeper understanding of how and why people interact as they do. Show me what you got!”
Great Mystery refers to the no-named spirit of all spirits, the Eternal Tao, God, Creator, various other labels. While Great Mystery holds yet another label, it is meant not to carry a label at all but a presence of self-invitation to knowing all there is. It is not meant to disavow Great Spirit, but some will take it as such.
For four days, I was guided through the woods, taking me on personal stations of the cross. With little forest helpers, these animals set stages throughout my life, recreating images and memories of my past. Bringing me to my knees in tears to screaming out in anger at the world around me or just pure joy and laughter emitting from my inner self at the absurdities of belief in my attached illusions.
Having a deeper understanding, setting on my way to a better life for self and family included, I declared, “from this day given peace, holding onto this self-guided peace, letting go of that which no longer serves me.
Knowing what I know now, holding onto self-guided peace can once again be thought of as an attachment. Hence I let go further into Great Mysteries teachings of “Not Knowing.”
Meaning — taking moments of self-love, either by physical stimuli, spiritual touch, or mindful practices, brings us center stage with Great Mystery’s all-seeing eye within the storm.
My personal take away “how can I take this peace, found within the forest, home with me so others might benefit?” Centering around this peace, breathing into this peace, finding peace even during the greatest of challenging moments. Like the situation above, a man lashed out in pure anger — remaining calm during his storm.
I am forever grateful for the little helpers of the forest, showing me ‘The Way,’ allowing me to carry this knowledge into the world.
During the pandemic, we all have come to know chaos and division amongst ourselves. Does it have to be so? Can we have peace amidst this storm? That is left for each one of us to decide, and surely there’s debate as to whether we are right or wrong. As for me, I return to my original practice of breathing into peace, holding space for another to find this peace amidst their storm.
Once we find peace, is that the end of the road? Does our journey end there? Not at all! It is an ever-evolving death and rebirth of self, forever expanding knowing and not knowing simultaneously in avoided space.
Once empty in our hearts, this void, filling with a deeper desire for future expansiveness and deeper understanding of Great Mystery, is now filled with co-creating self-giving knowing of emptiness and peaceful totality.
I do not claim to know everything and will not tell anyone how to find it — merely invite others to seek and find their peace within, projecting peace, not anger out into the creative world.
Having self-awareness, we are exiting the world and reentering with greater peace in knowing we are not perfect, never really knowing the answers, and certainly not done learning from ‘All there Is.” Disclaimer: again, this is all my opinion, left for others to make their own. Maybe that is why I resort to poetry, a parable of another sort, to carry messages of self-understanding of collective thought.
For those seeking, there are plenty of other teachers with examples of ‘how to’ come to a place of knowing, I will leave it to the readers to find what works for them. Selfless or selfishly not giving the answers to life mysteries, but allowing the others to come to a place of self-realization — it was with you all along.
Much gratitude for those who take time to read, ponder and allow the inner workings of self to come forward. Grateful for the feedback, love shared, and more importantly the Dance with Inspiration. Deep Peace.